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Violence and destructive anger has reached an epidemic level in
our culture and negatively impacts us in each arena and major tasks
of life:
| Social
|
|
Our
relationships with others |
| Love
|
|
Our
intimate relationships |
| Spiritual
|
|
The
meaning and purpose of life |
| Work
|
|
Our
occupation, the earning of a living |
Anger
and violent conflicts in the workplace has become one of Corporate
America's biggest problems. In a recent Gallup poll, two (2) out
of every ten (10) employees confessed to being angry enough to "hurt"
some co-worker in the last six(6) months! Indeed, every day, literally
thousands of employees are killing and maiming each other as a result
of their mis-mangaged and uncontrolled anger and rage. Many more
thousands of "innocent" by-standers/co-workers are also being hurt
or killed in the process. Too many managers and bosses are losing
their lives each year because of the angry and violent actions of
disgruntled employees. Make no mistake about it, the modern workplace
of today is dangerous and becoming increasingly more violent and
you can easily be hurt or even lose your life if you don't know
how to manage your anger and the anger of your co-workers.
Much
of the problem contributing to the epidemic anger and violence occurring
in the workplace is that many people have attitudes about themselves,
about others and about life which predispose them to behave in ways
that are irrational and disrespecting towards others. Such persons
are "culturally incompetent" and are not "sensitive" to
other people "feelings" ways of seeing, doing and understanding
things. They lack "insight" about other people beliefs,
values and practices and are unable to "dialogue" about their differences.
And when conflicts arise, their lack of "insight" and
cultural competence makes positive cooperation difficult and sometimes,
even impossible. This kind of cultural "narrow-mindedness"
is then perceived as disrespect by others and triggers their anger
(rage) and its violent consequences.
I have found
that most of the inter-employee problems, manager/employee problems
and violent conflicts on the job, arise out of this negative context
of cultural ignorance.
When co-workers,
managers and employees learn how to make the transition from their
mistaken or uninformed attitudes and expectations of others to more
appropriate ones, their lives at work take on new meaning and purpose.
They become capable of cooperating with each other as equal members
of society. As employees, they become more efficient and productive
at their job. They stop insulting and putting each other down and
start helping each other up. They are moved into a relationship
of mutual respect.
Mutual respect
can be defined as a state in which two (or more) individuals respect
themselves and each other in spite of their differences, faults
and imperfections.
.
In the context of mutual respect, each employees feelings
of self respect and sense of worth and value is enhanced. Of course,
this does not mean "compromising" with any legitimate
expectations based on each employee respective role and job function.
But it does mean "respecting" the other person "humanity"
in spite of his professional shortcomings, cultural differences
or lack of competence. Even when the other person makes it very
difficult for us to respect them by making useless "anger mischief,"
we can still disengage from their inappropriate or unprofessional
behavior and respect them in spite of it! He (she) will not cooperate
with us until, and unless we do.
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1997-2005
Leonard Ingram, AngerMgmt.com. All rights reserved.
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